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Weed doesn’t just “get you high” — it transforms you. One moment you’re vibing with a bag of chips, the next you’re 35 minutes into an imaginary argument with your toaster.
Whether you’re chilling with friends, getting existential with a potted plant, or lost in the fridge with no idea how you got there, every high has its own personality. Here at Red Eye Monkey, we’ve seen (and smoked) it all — so here’s your unofficial guide to the different kinds of high you might meet along the way.
This high is pure charisma. You’ve got jokes. You’ve got stories. You’re making eye contact and feeling seen. Suddenly, you’re the best version of yourself in a group chat — IRL.
Joints feel like party starters, and even small talk hits deeper. If you’ve ever accidentally made a stranger your best friend at a smoke sesh, this is that energy.
The vibe: Euphoric, confident, high verbal energy
Good for: Game nights, group hangs, festivals
Watch out for: Talking too much and forgetting the point mid-sentence
The closest match according to out experience:
You’re not high. You’re elevated. This is inner peace in hoodie form. You might sit silently for hours watching dust float in a sunbeam and feel more present than you’ve been in weeks.
Your body feels soft, your thoughts slow, and your stress? Evaporated.
The vibe: Calm, introspective, blissfully still
Good for: Nature walks, solo listening sessions, yoga, existing
Watch out for: Zoning out mid-conversation and forgetting what time is
Suddenly, everything has layers. You’ve made three conspiracy theories in your head and disproved all of them. You’re chasing thoughts like smoke rings. “What is a chair?” you ask, sitting in one.
This is the kind of high where you feel like you’re watching your brain do laps around itself. It’s silly. It’s genius. It’s a TED Talk no one will ever hear.
The vibe: Deep thoughts, random insights, mild confusion
Good for: Long convos, journaling, music rabbit holes
Watch out for: Getting trapped in a loop of overthinking
A chip isn’t just a chip. It’s a holy artifact of crunch and flavor. This high hits your taste buds like a spiritual awakening. You’ve never loved food more.
You’ll become a mixologist of weird snack combos. Chocolate syrup on nachos? Don’t knock it ‘til you try it. Also, why is the fridge light so beautiful?
The vibe: Ravenous, inspired, possibly feral
Good for: Kitchen experiments, Uber Eats splurges
Watch out for: Eating everything and forgetting you did
The walls are breathing. Your reflection is suspicious. You’re not freaked out… yet… but you are starting to question everything.
This high doesn’t just bend reality — it skews it. Time drips. Sounds stretch. Your body feels 2 seconds behind your brain. It’s weird. It’s hilarious. It’s mildly alarming.
The vibe: Warped perception, glitchy, slightly dissociated
Good for: Just riding it out, talking to your cat
Watch out for: Tripping yourself out with mirrors or deep thoughts
You’re one with the couch now. Maybe the couch is one with you. You’ve got zero plans and 100% couch commitment. This is full-body stasis, watching Netflix but not absorbing anything.
Someone texts you? They can wait. Getting up? Nah. You might just slide deeper into the cushions like a stoned housecat.
The vibe: Heavy-limbed, zoned, cozy
Good for: Background TV, resting your atoms, sleep prep
Watch out for: Dehydration, ignoring all bodily needs
Everything means too much. This high leans heavy into introspection — but instead of being fun and floaty, it can turn heady and intense.
You’re analyzing every breath, wondering if your friends are mad at you (they’re not), and somehow remembering a thing you said in 7th grade.
The vibe: Self-aware, intense, overly meta
Good for: Maybe writing poetry?
Watch out for: Anxiety loops, internal spiraling, forgetting it’s temporary
You blink… and it’s two hours later. Or maybe it’s been five minutes? Time loses meaning. You’re pretty sure you started that YouTube video yesterday.
This high sneaks up after heavy dabs or edibles and can make you feel like you’ve both lived a lifetime and accomplished nothing at all.
The vibe: Disoriented, timeless, dreamlike
Good for: Ambient music, stargazing, doing absolutely nothing
Watch out for: Missing appointments or turning into a statue
Even seasoned stoners hit a wall sometimes. Maybe you smoked too much, ate a space cake you weren’t ready for, or took that second dab against your better judgment. Here’s how we at Red Eye Monkey get through it.
Your setting influences your high. Step outside. Dim the lights. Change the music. A shift in energy = a shift in mood.
Old-school trick. The beta-caryophyllene in pepper helps ground you by calming your body. Sniff or lightly chew a few — sounds weird, works wonders.
Drink water. Slowly. Hydration doesn’t just help your body — it gives your mind a steady rhythm to focus on. Avoid caffeine or alcohol.
Inhale for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 6. Repeat. Breathing deep slows your heart rate and gets you out of your head.
CBD counteracts the intensity of THC. A few drops of oil, a gummy, or even a puff of a CBD vape can dial things down.
Remind yourself: You’re just high. This isn’t forever. Set a timer if you need to — most bad highs peak after 30–60 minutes.
Not all highs are the same — and that’s kind of the beauty of it. Weed isn’t just about lighting up and zoning out. It’s about exploration. Each experience tells you something new about yourself — or at least gives you a wild story to tell later.
So next time you’re rolling one up, don’t just ask, “How high do I want to get?”
Ask: Who am I trying to become tonight?
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